Green flags and red flags
Healthy partners respect your friends, your money, your choices and your no. Jealousy, isolating you, controlling money or pressuring you about sex are red flags, even if only one or two show up.
You'll need
- Honest attention to how you feel around this person
What to know
- Look for green flags: they respect your boundaries once you've said them, and you can ask "Is this okay?" without a fight (love is respect).
- Watch for red flags: extreme jealousy, keeping you from friends or family, insulting you in front of others, or controlling your money (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
- Notice pressure to have sex or do things you're not comfortable with, or intimidation through looks or actions (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
- Take even one or two red flags seriously. The Hotline says that alone can be a sign abuse may be present (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
- Talk to someone. Hotline advocates are available 24/7 at 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788 (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
Watch out. Abusive behavior often starts small and grows over time. Many abusive people seem wonderful at first (National Domestic Violence Hotline). If you're in immediate danger, call 911.
Good to know
Control is the pattern
Most abusive relationships share one feature: one partner tries to gain power and control over the other (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
Healthy relationships protect
The CDC says promoting healthy, respectful, nonviolent relationships helps prevent intimate partner violence (CDC).
Browsing safely
If someone may be monitoring your phone or computer, the Hotline suggests calling instead of browsing (National Domestic Violence Hotline).
Sources
- National Domestic Violence Hotline Warning signs of abuse
- love is respect What are my boundaries?
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention About intimate partner violence
Lesson R6.1 · Last checked October 2, 2026 against the sources listed. See a mistake?
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